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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PartyProfession946 on 2023-09-27 08:25:38.
I (25F) have an older brother, Nick (38M). Nick was married to his childhood sweetheart Cassie until her death 10 years ago. They had two children together. Cassie was a beloved member of our family. She was essentially my sister because I grew up knowing her and she was awesome. My brother loved her so much too.
Nick never dated or had a romantic relationship after Cassie died. He has always appeared happy to me. Maybe not the same kind of happy that he was with Cassie, but happy all the same. He focuses on different things other than relationships. Which is something that bothers our parents. Two years after Cassie died they started suggesting my brother could leave the kids with them and go out to meet some women. They introduced him to women they thought would be a good match for him, including some widows. My brother told them he was not interested in dating and he would appreciate it if they didn’t push. My parents never stopped pushing and over the years they have strained their relationship with Nick and my nephews. About a year ago my nephews said their dad didn’t need to have a woman to be a good dad, my parents suggested their lives would be better with a mom for the boys and a wife for Nick and that he would have an easier time parenting, and did they ever stop to think their mom was impossible to match for their dad. They also told my parents that they never ever wanted a new mom and that they hated the assumption otherwise, an assumption my parents often brought up.
I have spoken to my brother and to the boys. I support them and they talk to me sometimes. It can be good for them to get it all out. I have also told my parents to back off in the past and pointed out that Nick is happy. They don’t listen to me or care to hear me speak on it.
My brother took time from our parents and our parents grew tired of this. So a few days ago my parents decided to show up at my brother’s house, while I was there, and they told him it’s unhealthy to not have moved on into a new relationship. They said if Cassie had been such a terrible wife, his marriage that bad or if she had made him promise to never find another partner then he should find a way to get over it and move on. My brother kicked them out and told them he never wanted to see them again.
My parents decided to complain about it to me. I told them they had always been insensitive when it came to my brother’s love life after Cassie but they had taken things way too far this last time and there was no repairing things. I told them it was disgusting to shit all over Cassie just because my brother didn’t want to continue the life the way they wanted. They said I didn’t care about my brother’s happiness and didn’t even try to see their side. Yesterday they said I was rude and it was uncalled for. AITA?