This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sl89001 on 2023-09-27 03:17:22.
My sister (30F) called me yesterday morning to tell me that her partner (45M) had been rushed to the hospital. She was in hysterics and I stayed on the phone with her until she was able to make it to the hospital. She works and her partner stays home with the kids (I do believe he’s on some sort of disability/unemployment benefit though). Together they have three kids who are 7, 5, and 2.
Here’s some background on me and my sister…we had actually not spoken for almost an entire year since her most recent call to me. We have a really strained relationship starting from our childhood, which was exacerbated by our parents. I’ll be honest in saying that my parents always favored me and labeled my sister as a “problem child.” Since her teens, she’s been involved with heavy drug use and partying. She graduated high school, but dropped out of community college. Our strict, traditional Asian parents shunned her from their lives after she dropped out of college. They effectively disowned her and pretend that they never had an older daughter. My parents haven’t spoken a word to her in almost a decade and they have never met their grandchildren.
For the last decade, I’ve tried to maintain a positive relationship with my sister, but she’s betrayed my trust too many times to count. Borrowing money and never returning it, stealing my items and pawning/selling them, bringing me into unnecessary drama in her life, etc. To be honest, I’ve been trying to distance myself from her for the last 3-4 years since she’s caused me nothing but pain, stress, and suffering.
Then last night, she called me again to let me know that her partner had suffered a severe stroke and had emergency surgery. The doctors say they are still very unsure of his prognosis. She then begged me to take in her children for the time being, saying how she can’t afford any childcare and that she’ll lose both her jobs if she’s forced to stay with the children.
Now here’s the thing, me and my boyfriend’s five-year anniversary is coming up. We’ve already bought tickets, requested PTO, and made accommodations for a two-week trip to Europe starting from this Friday. The total trip, including airfare, costed us $18,000, most of which is non-refundable.
I told my sister I’d call her back and let her know after I spoke with my boyfriend. He said it was my choice completely. I decided that I wanted to go on our anniversary trip, which I had been looking forward to for a full year.
I called my sister back and told her that I couldn’t because of our trip. She started sobbing over the phone and lashed out at me, calling me cruel and selfish. She said that we could afford to just rebook our vacation and we didn’t need that money back, but she was going to lose her job and her children if she couldn’t find someone to take them in.
It was a really tough conversation, but I stuck with my decision. It’s been almost a day since our call and I won’t lie, I do feel a lot of guilt. AITA?