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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Resident_You5105 on 2023-09-27 01:40:05.
I (25F) have been married to my husband (26M) for 7 years. We have a son together (1F) who were TTC over 2 years for. Before we were TTC I did 90% of the household chores and was fine with that considering I stayed at home. Before we agreed to try for a child I told him once we had a child the household chores would be 50/50 or 60/40 since I would be in charge of childcare all day every day. He was fine with that and even said he would give me 2 hours a day of “responsibility free” time where I could do whatever I wanted and didn’t have to worry about him or the baby. Fast forward to earlier this year. We had our daughter and immediately everything he said went out the window. I was still doing all of the household chores, as well as taking care of our daughter full time while recovering from birth. I begged him for months to help me around the house and stick to what we agreed upon. He would do some stuff randomly, like a load of dishes here or a load of laundry there, but never liked we agreed upon. Finally one day he snapped on me and said I demand too much of him and when I got a job I’d when he would help around the house and with our daughter. I just said “okay, fine then.”. Since that day I haven’t asked for help with anything. I do all of the chores and childcare on my own, along with any odd tasks he asks me to. However, we also stopped having sex and I stopped telling him I love him or appealing to his love languages. We got into an argument about it and I responded “I view you as another child to take care of, why would I have sex with you?” He screamed at me and told me I was an asshole, saying I was only using him for his money. But during the argument we had to start this all off, he said he didn’t need to contribute to the house because he was the one who payed the bills. So, AITA?
Edit to add** He will not allow me to get a job. I have tried, even had interviews set up, but he doesn’t trust other people to watch our child. I have no issue with working