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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ExcitingPanic on 2023-09-26 16:59:48.

TW: rape/SA

My narcissistic ex who I wasn’t even really together with but more of a fwb hasn’t really been in my life for the last year. I wanted to put it behind me so we just were ‘friends’ but from a distance, I never met up with him or made plans, occasionally we would run into each other, say hi and move on. He asked to catch up a couple days ago and I was busy so I went to meet him yesterday. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend and she’d kicked him out of their place so I listened to him talk with a couple other friends. We were a bit tipsy and the other friends offered to let him crash with him, instead he decided to come with me and I went with it. He stayed over and nothing happened but in the morning he went to meet the ex to clear things up because they’d been arguing on the phone. A while later I get a text from him asking if I can tell the ex and her friends that he didn’t rape me. For context I stopped talking to him a couple years ago because he sexually coerced me when I was drunk and later told me to take the morning after pill, before that I hadn’t thought we’d had PIV but afterwards I wasn’t so sure, and he told me I’d made him feel indirectly like a rapist. So with this ex I told him to leave me alone and ignored his messages but somehow the ex gf’s friends knew this situation happened between us and they told him he raped me but I’d convinced myself he hadn’t. I don’t know how to process all this, I tried to put this behind me 2 years ago and now one conversation with him has my head spinning. I feel guilty that he feels bad because I ignored his question but at the same time I’d already explained everything to him in the past and if he really harmed this girl I don’t want to say he didn’t hurt me because at best it was still assault.