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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/butimprettywhenicry on 2023-09-26 03:55:28.

Last weekend me, my boyfriend, my friends and two of his friends went on this weekend getaway to this beautiful beach town. We had concerts lined up and rented out a huge bungalow and that’s why we bought so many people with us. Me and my friends are all 21. My bf and his friends are in their mid 20s byw.

Now my bf has this friend P who is a holistic nutritional coach. There were two incidents that muddled up the waters this weekend and both of them happened at the dining table.

  1. P was helping my bf lose weight. She went on and on about cutting out sugar completely and was judgemental over every single food item he was having. She made an open ended statement at the table “I think it’s better if sugar didn’t exist at all. All these junk didn’t exist at all”. I told her to chill and a little bit of this and that isn’t gonna kill anybody or affect anyone’s weight loss journey. She disagreed vehemently but then I stated that I also lost 40lbs recently and I didn’t do restrictive dieting. I ate everything. I ate mindfully. I worked out consistently. I don’t hate my life. I don’t hate the food I ate. But she said I don’t know what I was talking about and discouraging everyone. I shrugged it off because I didn’t want to argue anymore. People who have a problem with over eating are going to snap and gain back all weight in strict diets and I don’t encourage it really.
  2. We were having dinner. I have this friend J who is the type of girl who eats whatever she wants and still stays thin. We had ordered briyani that night. I always have a small appetite so I tend to split briyani into two. But J was the opp of me. She can have a whole briyani by herself and eat some more. Anyways P interrupts J while she is devouring her briyani and tells her that she shouldn’t over eat like that, it’s unhealthy. J is the non confrontational type but I could see how J had become upset after that comment. To break the tension, I said something like “haha it’s okay, we go to the gym 6 days a week and break our back. Let her have one night with her old lover” P once again told us “yeah but she should be more aware of what she is putting inside her body. That is a ridiculous amount of food etc etc etc and went on and on about it”. I snapped and said “comon P, we are on a vacation, not everyone wants to eat salads like you. Some of us just want to have fun”. But then P once again stated that J shouldn’t be like this be like that. I told her that I think it’s inappropriate she should comment on J’s eating habits. She refuted that she did the same with my boyfriend and I told her well he’s your friend and idk what kind of dynamic you share, but you just met us so I think it’s rude to make assessments like that. I think you should apologize to J.

P was really upset after that and started crying to her friend. My bf thinks I should have just let it slide as she only had good intentions but my friends think she deserved it. It felt like having a therapist with is who was constantly psychoanalyses us. It was tiring. There were other incidents where she made subtle comments about food as well btw.