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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Beautiful-Brother456 on 2023-09-25 16:42:12.
My first husband and I divorced amicably about 10 years ago. I have since remarried and have two sons (14, 8). When I divorced my first husband I made it clear that I was no longer interested in coparenting his daughter (Lindsey, 23). Lindsey’s mother wasn’t in the picture, but I was only in her life for a few years at that point so it was not like she was losing a mother figure. I still talk to her occasionally and send her birthday gifts here and there. Lindsey is a bit of a wild child. She has had some problems with the law and overall is unmotivated to do anything meaningful with her life. My ex and Lindsey, as of recently, are no longer on speaking terms. Lindsey came to me because I guess she had no where else to go. She asked if she could stay with me for a while until she was back on her feet. I ended up saying yes, because I couldn’t imagine her surviving in the alternative.
That was 2 months ago. Lindsey still hasn’t moved out or found a job but she does do chores around the house and help the kids with their homework. My kids have started to connect with Lindsey a bit. My husband however, is not exactly okay with her presence. A few days ago he asked me why she was still here. I informed him once again of her situation but he did not seem to care. He told me he did not want a “criminal” around his influential children. Lindsey has had a few addictions but I’m sure that she wouldn’t do it in front of the kids. I tried to explain to my husband about second chances but he wasn’t having it. He called me a doormat and said he wanted Lindsey out of the house in the next 2 weeks. Additionally, my ex is not exactly happy about Lindsey staying with me. He thinks that I am ruining her by not letting her learn life lessons. My husband is weaponizing this and telling me that I should stop telling other people how to parent.