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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dramatic_Decision420 on 2023-09-25 12:20:00.
So I am 21F, my aunt in this story is married to my mums brother so aunt is ‘Jazz’ 35F and Uncle is ‘Will’ 37M.
Jazz and Will have 5 children together (14M, 12M, 9F, 7M, and 2M). Will works doing tarmac and Jazz doesn’t work.
Since 14M was born almost every other conversation with Jazz and Will is about one of three thing: 1) they have no money to do anything, 2) they can’t do anything together because a child always needs something, 3) they can’t do anything they want because one of the kids always wants to do something different. That sounds miserable to me so I decided I don’t want children or young children anyway, I’ve thought about adopting older children/teens in the future but that wouldn’t be for several years.
Anyway it’s not a secret I don’t want children but I’m apparently at an age where relatives think I should be having them. Jazz is one of these relatives, recently she was over and kept asking when I was going to have a child of my own since she knew I’d make an excellent mother given a chance and I told her I didn’t want to have young children/babies, she asked why, I said because I don’t, she asked why again, this cycle continued for a couple minutes before I just had enough.
I asked if she was really that desperate to know and she said yes so I told her “I want money and some level of freedom when I’m older not debt and obligations”.
She went to the toilet almost immediately after I finished talking and I didn’t see her the rest of the day. I got a text later from Jazz telling me I didn’t have to attack her and her lifestyle like that, that I could have just said I didn’t want children and leave it at that but that she now didn’t want me around my cousins until I apologise to her.
I’ve left her on read, I don’t want to apologise but I didn’t mean to hurt her with what I said so I’m kinda conflicted.