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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Waitingforabluebox on 2023-09-25 04:38:30.
I am devastated and I think the whole world can hear the breaking of my heart.
I am 37, been with my husband since we were 18, got married at 23. Life was really great and I thought we were such an amazing pair. He was more outgoing and I was more introverted, I thought we balanced each other out perfectly. He was in the military and when he got out, there was some bad years there but we were each other’s support and I always thought we would get through it. It was really tough for a while, but we made a move to be closer to family about two years ago and I thought it was something and someplace we both wanted.
A few months ago, I noticed that things were feeling off between us. I tried to find ways to connect more and be more close, but it seemed like it was getting worse. About 6 weeks ago, he broke down and admitted that he doesn’t think we have much in common anymore. He said it was hard to communicate with me and he thinks we are too different now. That he still loves me, but he doesn’t have anything to talk to me about. It was a very emotional day and also very confusing because while we were having a discussing about how things felt different, I said I always felt our differences where our strength and he doesn’t think it works any more. It ended in us having sex and then he moved on like we didn’t have that conversation. It got bad again quickly, he never wanted to talk to me and he straight up kept saying he was not interested in what I was saying. So I stopped talking to him.
Now the same conversation is back again. He thinks we are just too different, so I ask “Ok, what do we do? Try? Do you even want to be married to me?” And it ends with him just saying that he doesn’t know but that we are too different and that my lifestyle goals do not align with his. He changes his obsessions in life every so often and now it is being outside and active 24/7. He wants to go backpacking for a month and go hiking all the time, but I have never ever been that person. I want to do somethings outside and travel and try new things, but I also want to sit and read and chill and be happy being solitary.
I wound up going to my mom’s this weekend just to breathe and it was so nice to be around people who wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to think about my goals in life and where I saw myself, I can home tonight and it was so awkward between us. He thinks my goals are not conducive to his lifestyle and I think we are headed for divorce. I am heartbroken, but I am almost out of energy to to “change”. He’s not going to change, I am not suddenly going to want to go backpack the PCT after never camping in my life or go skiing black diamond runs for 8 hours when I can only get through 3-4 hours of green runs. He’s never gong to care about listening to me talk about my interests., but I have always cared about his interests.
I am so lost. I have no friends and I am trying to wrap my head around where our relationship is going. I feel so alone in my own house. And I have to go to work tomorrow and everything feels wrong. I know I have my mom’s support, but I just feel like I am dying inside. I feel like the world is falling apart and I an powerless to stop it.