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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Late-Satisfaction228 on 2023-09-24 18:36:21.

I (F38) married my husband Sam (M47) five years ago. Sam always knew I did not want to have children of my own. He was fine with it.

He has a daughter Leah (F25). His wife died when Leah was 10 years old and I met him when she was 15. I didn’t meet her till after a year of dating. She was a sweet young adult and we got along great. I did not move in with Sam till Leah left for college though.

Leah got pregnant last year. Her boyfriend did not want to keep the baby but she wanted to keep it. He broke up with her. Leah moved back in with us cause she could not afford her lifestyle without him. She worked as a teacher and he was the bread winner.

I had concerns about how she was going to raise a child on a teacher’s salary by herself. I suggested getting him to pay child support. She did not want that. Sam thought I should stay out of it. Fine.

But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realise having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was. She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.

Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave baby at daycare or with a nanny. Sam and I both work as well.

She asked if I could stay home with the baby. I said no. First, it is not my baby, and I never wanted to raise a child. Second, I have work.

She asked Sam who asked me to do it instead. I refused stating the reasons again. Sam couldn’t stay home because he earned more than me and covered more bills.

I asked why Leah can’t stay home with the baby herself. She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and she needed something else in her life too.

Sam feels bad for her and thinks we should help her. I suggested she pay for nanny with her income but Leah doesn’t want strangers looking after her baby.

Both of them are pressuring me to stay home with baby so she can go to work. I am standing firm on my decision.

Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didnt love her and my husband is also mad at me.

AITA for refusing to help my stepdaughter with her baby?

Maybe necessary info? Leah’s mom was a SAHM.