This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ladywinterbear on 2023-09-24 05:30:27.
I fully believe that women should be allowed to wear whatever they want to without being shamed. And it includes any clothing they want to wear. But (please forgive me if I’m wrong, I’m still trying to unlearn all the things I’ve been told about myself), why do women sometimes sexualise themselves?
I’m an asexual. Never felt sexual attraction towards anyone even once in my life. So I’ve never understood the concept of looking at any person and finding them sexually appealing. And I’ve always found being sexually attracted to people or portraying yourself in a sexually appealing way (not just physically appealing, if you get what I mean?) is just objectification. I now know that it’s not right. And that people can be sexually attracted to others without objectifying them. But in a very abstract way. I accept that other people feel that way, but I myself cannot see how it is possible.
On top of that, I’ve grown up in a culture where every single part of a women or young girl is sexualised heavily. Even wearing a long top with slits on top of leggings is considered wrong because men can see the shape of our legs. So I’ve always learned to see myself as a sexual thing first, human second. I’m not exaggerating one bit when I say that. Truly. I still view myself that way but not as rigidly as I used to.
So when I see women dress themselves in a sexually appealing way, I’m only able to think “why are they objectifying themselves so much? Men already do that to us so much, why would you do it to yourself?!?”
That was/is my thought process.
Then I read about exploring ones sexuality. And from what I’ve read about it, I believe it’s a legitimate answer. But I cannot wrap my head around it since such things were just soo unheard of growing up. And I also don’t understand what it means to explore ones sexuality.
Can you guys help me make sense of it?
I should go to therapy I know. But I can’t afford it right now. And besides, I don’t trust the therapists in my home country. Most likely they have beliefs that support the claims or thought processes I’m trying to unlearn.