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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AgreeableElevator67 on 2023-09-24 04:07:20.
This happened over three years ago and whenever I think about it, I feel confused and maybe deceived.
I found out I was pregnant from my newly ex boyfriend (we were together when it happened). We were both doctors in the same specialty, though different hospitals, and I was a second year resident (a very busy and scary time, he technically had “power” to ruin my reputation, as he was an attending). The field is relatively small, especially when working in the same city.
Prior to finding out I was pregnant, he was already trying to mess with my job. He would have people call my superiors and start rumors about me. I also had 2 kids. I say this to explain that I was very stressed, so what PP said may have actually been true.
In a moment of weakness, I told him about the pregnancy. He responded horribly and told me he’d do everything in his power to keep the kid from me and he’d win in court because he had money and I had around $250,000 of debt at that point. He would send me texts constantly just yelling at me about anything he could. He called me a liar and said it was someone else’s kid, he told me my other two kids would have a bad life, etc.
I decided it would be best to get an abortion,so I went to planned parenthood and did the normal appointment. I was too far along for the pill (10-11 weeks), so they scheduled the abortion for 72 hours later (required in my state at the time).
The weird part is, when I went back for the procedure, I told them I had some light spotting the day before. I was pretty emotional about this process and I had already been premedicated with narcotics, so maybe even more emotional/disheveled looking. They then pulled me into an ultrasound room and did a scan. The tech said she couldn’t find a heartbeat and had the doctor come in and confirm. The doctor looked around for maybe 15-20 seconds before saying she couldn’t find anything either.
The doctor then advised me to continue with the procedure or go home and let it happen naturally. She basically said, you’re already here and if it doesn’t all come out, you’ll need to do this anyway. I was confused, because I’d already had two successful pregnancies* and it seemed like they told me “no heartbeat”, because I looked sad.
Is that a thing at PP? I don’t work in women’s health, but lying to someone just to make them morally ok with a decision would be unethical in my specialty. But maybe for MY sake, the doctor didn’t look hard enough for a heartbeat? I had mixed feelings about going through with it, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible they did that to expedite my decision. I just wish I could know. I’m ok with either truth, but I’ve always had a hard timing grieving without knowing, ya know?
edit: *the reason I mention my previous pregnancies is only to say I experienced the spotting both times and this didn’t seem any different than that.