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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/c0bra_ on 2023-09-23 19:54:42.


So here’s the situation. I work in an open office, and for the past few months, this coworker of mine, let’s call her Dana, has been making indirect comments about the food that I bring for lunch. Mind you, I’ve never heard her say anything rude directly, but she would make a face or a comment whenever I’d heat my food in the communal microwave. It was the regular stuff like, “Oh, fish again? Gosh, the office is going to smell like a fish market…” or something like, “Hmmm, your food looks…interesting.”

This went on for weeks. Despite me finding her comments annoying, I brushed them off, until one day she crossed a line. I’d brought a family recipe that I was particularly proud of. She took one look at my lunch and said, "Well, that looks like leftovers. I mean, literally, not even a starving dog would eat that."I was stunned, and frankly, fed up. So the next day, I brought a fancy, moderately intricate lunch and presented it in an over-the-top restaurant style. Think tall stacks of tiny pancakes, a fruit salad with a spectacular arrangement, and so on. Dana was silent the entire lunch period which was quite gratifying.

The problem arose when Dana texted me after work, berating me for trying to show her up and making her feel bad. She said I was being petty and immature and practically demanded that I stop bringing my “fancy” lunches. Now, I’m confused. I mean, I did do it to annoy her, but am I the asshole for reacting this way?