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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fun-Training327 on 2023-09-23 14:59:17.
I (F26) have been dating my boyfriend (M27) for around 3 years. We talk to each other about almost everything. Things I do not talk about are how much I earn and what assets I have.
All my life I have seen siblings and family fight over money. Act entitled to other person’s money, take advantage of people who earn more and even wish their parents to die for inheritance.
I don’t want any relationship in my life to be about money. It is nobody’s business. I also don’t ask anyone about their incomes. Instead I discuss what amount they are comfortable spending. That’s all there is to know.
We are planning on moving in together and was discussing budget and expense splits. He asked me how much I earned. I told him I was comfortable spending x amount. But he just asked me again how much I earned and how much I had in savings. I told him I don’t want to share that information.
He got mad at that saying if we are moving in together he had a right to know. I told him we are splitting all expenses and deciding a budget we are both comfortable with. Why does it matter what I earn or how much I am saving.
He said I don’t trust him. And that I am making him spend more and squirreling away my money.
I told him if he was not comfortable with the budget, we can lower it. We can decide on a budget together and live within the budget.
He said that’s not the point. That I am purposefully cutting him out and showing distrust. I said him insisting on knowing is raising red flags for me.
He said I am the AH for hiding my financials from him.
AITA for refusing to share my financials with my boyfriend?