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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/metalmorian on 2023-09-23 10:39:25.
Original Title: Something that was posted on another sub doesn’t set right with me: If your child (18), against your advice, begs their partner to keep a pregnancy they didn’t want, and partner then fucks off after birth and only pays child support, are you as mother of the parent then responsible for them?
Like the heading says. This applies to both sons and daughters.
I feel that since he was willing to raise a baby on his own to the degree that he fought against an abortion knowing the mother didn’t want this child, then he cannot blame me for not going to college and making something better of himself than a minimum wage worker, and he shouldn’t be expecting me to contribute to his household, either through direct means (asking me for money) or indirect means (expecting childcare to go to college, asking his siblings who still live at home to ask me for money to give to him/her).
From what I understand, most colleges in the US cost a mountain to attend even if you live at home, and don’t provide free childcare so he might have to move to a different city to get the childcare, but then he has to pay a mountain of money for extra accommodation and food, which without the baby, he could have had at home. But instead, he chose to crash his entire life into a wall.
If he was given proper sex education and continued information on safe sex, and he chose to father a child he couldn’t care for instead of going to college, leading to him being stuck in a minimum wage job, why should i be held liable, and called an asshole when I don’t want to contribute?
I don’t know, I just don’t feel like I should be responsible for the children my children create to the extend that I’m paying for things my minor kids say they need but instead they give that money to their brother.
Are we, as women, just responsible for our kids to the end of infinity, and responsible forever for cleaning up their messes?
Is this another “but familllyyyyyy means you must sacrifice all of yourself forever” thing that I’m too autistic to understand?
I mean I wouldn’t cut him off, but I also wouldn’t be providing the kind of money that would pay rent and food for two people for a month (simply because I can’t afford it), and I wouldn’t be providing childcare other than occasional babysitting.
But somehow, this is seen as a problem?