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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/dismomof4 on 2023-09-22 09:41:57.

My (34f) daughter (7) has been having a sleep regression issue for the last 6 ish months. Basically she gets up 2-5 times a night. Almost every single time she tells my husband and I that she wants us to physically tuck her back in. She shares a room with two of her three siblings (not ideal and will be changing)

Whenever my husband gets up with her, the behavior gets more frequent. In my eyes this is because he goes all in. Doing things like singing to her, cuddling her, talking to her, instead of placing her back in bed and going back to sleep. She basically gets a ton of attention with him at night and it makes her get up more. I’ve tried to explain this to him but he dismisses it, so I usually get up with her to try to curb the behavior by giving minimal feedback and just putting her back in bed.

My daughter came to me at almost 3 am and asked me to “cover her back up” I was admittedly short and irritated. I took her back to her room and told her she is a big enough girl to cover herself with blankets. We’d practiced this and talked about it so it wasn’t like I was expecting her to do it herself out of the blue. She refused. So I told her goodnight, She began full on screaming at the top of her lunges and crying. I tell her that I’m going to count to three and she can either stop screaming or we can go downstairs. At this point she’s woken her siblings and I’m trying to contain the situation. I count to three she’s screaming more. I lift her out of bed and lead her by the hand to the stairs.

At this point my husband is up. He tells me he can handle it. I tell him I’m taking her downstairs to talk to her and to keep her from screaming where everyone sleeps. He tells me to stop. I tell him he’s undermining me and to back off.

He does step aside but follows me downstairs and is cooing to her the whole time and bringing her water. I repeat that I can handle it and to please leave us to talk. He refuses.

I do manage to talk to my daughter, explain that she can’t scream like that and that she needs to be a big girl and cover herself with her blankets at night. My husband hovers over my shoulder. I take her back to bed, she does cover herself up, and we leave the room.

He immediately turns to me and tells me that I was abusing our daughter. That I can’t convince him that what I was doing wasn’t abuse. I try to explain but he ignores me and marches downstairs to the couch. I try to talk to him again and he just insists that I’m abusing our daughter. I was admittedly short with her but besides leading her downstairs by the hand I did not touch her and I don’t feel I was overly mean in trying to enforce her tucking herself in when she finds herself uncovered in the middle of the night. So, AITAH?

TLDR my daughter wakes up multiple times a night. In trying to teach her to take care of her needs on her own I removed her from the room so she wouldn’t wake up her siblings, my spouse is calling me abusive and mean. AITA.