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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Aggressive_Archer_80 on 2023-09-22 02:31:58.
For background, my mother left my eldest grandchild $40k+ for college. He was a minor when she passed and I was left in charge of the money. She told me it was to be used for his college education. Right out of high school he moved into an apartment and started to attend community college. He had a scholarship for the first two semesters so we weren’t worried about using the inheritance yet. He also paid rent with his own savings from working on the family farm so again, no need for the inheritance at this point.
Well after the first semester he decided college wasn’t for him. He got a job as a heavy equipment operator and lived in the same college town for 4 years.
After 4 years of working in construction he moved back home to work on the family farm full time. The farm is owned by my husband and my son(the father of my grandson). My husband is too old to carry on with the strenuous work of farm life, and my son fell into deep depression after divorcing his second wife and started to abuse alcohol. My grandson moved back here and took over all the duties on the farm.
He’s currently 25 years old and for the last 3 years he’s been running the farm. I do all the bookwork as I have for the last 50+ years, but he does everything else and has helped keep the business afloat. He lives in an RV on the farm property because he doesn’t want to pay rent in town and he says he’s closer to work this way also.
He says he loves this life and wants to stay farming no matter how much we’ve tried to convince him to get a college degree and pursue something that will make him more money. The only other thing he loves is cooking which he says just isn’t a viable career path for him money-wise, unless he were to open his own deli/restaurant. These last couple months he’s sat down with me and his grandpa and told us he should have access to his college funds. His argument is that he’s 25, has proven he’s independent as an adult, and doesn’t see himself benefiting from college. Also told us that college wasn’t a wise investment for him because of his plans. He says he won’t blow it on stupid things but may use it to jumpstart a business(his deli/restaurant). I refuse to give it to him outright because that money was for college, not for starting a business. He says he feels belittled because he’s an adult and we’re withholding his money from him. But I don’t believe that’s the case. It was left for college and should be honored as such. AITA?