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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pink_CheetahPrint on 2023-09-22 03:30:03.
I, (F29) and my husband, (M30) were high school sweethearts. We met in sophomore year of high school and hit it off, which meant we began to hang out outside of school. I started developing feelings for him about a year after we met, and soon found out they were reciprocated.
Now, I know I may sound like the asshole in the vague context of the title: However, I don’t think I am at all. I need some input.
Me and my husband began trying for a baby about 3 years ago: and being unsuccessful multiple times was incredibly deterring. However, about 5 months ago, I found out I was pregnant. To say I was happy is an understatement. My husband seemed ecstatic in due course, his wariness quickly overturned by the excitement of being a father.
My husband has always voiced how much he wanted a son. During my pregnancy, my husband posted paragraphs about how incredibly thrilled he was to become a father. Although, he seemed to always manage to rope in his hopes of being a boy father into his words. I didn’t necessarily have a problem with it at the time.
About 4 months into my pregnancy, my doctor scheduled a gender revealing ultrasound. As always on my appointments, my husband tagged along. As we drove, I took a mental note of his anxious habits. Biting his nails, tapping his hands on the steering wheel, breathing hard. It was understandable. As we arrived, we were whisked away by a doctor to the room.
As they began the ultrasound, my husbands jitters slowed. My doctor spoke aloud in elated tone: “It’s a girl! Congratulations!” Dead silence. Without even finishing the appointment, my husband stood up quietly and stormed out. The air was heavy with tension as I cleaned up and headed towards the lobby. I found my husband sitting on his phone in the waiting room, brows furrowed.
He saw me and forced a smile. As we headed back to the car, I noticed how he avoided my questions. I tried to brush it off, thinking it was just a twinge of quick passing disappointment: however, I soon realized it was much deeper than that.
As we parked in our driveway, I broke the silence with a considerate “Are you alright?” “Do I look fucking okay?” Hubby says, “You know how much I wanted to raise a man like my father raised me.” He began raising his voice, each word growing to be painful and cruel.
I was already in pain, exhausted, and frustrated as he spewed several underhanded accusations and unwarranted insults out at me. I snapped. “You’re already a pathetic excuse of a father and our daughter isn’t even born yet,”
Silence.
He left quickly afterwords and informed me that he will be staying with a friend for a couple of days. His family has been blowing up my phone with messages I refuse to read, and my own family is telling me that I went too far and should apologize.
Am I the asshole for telling my husband that he’s “already a pathetic excuse of a father,”?