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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Conscious-Return-324 on 2023-09-21 15:54:39.
Original Title: AITA After my FIL scolded us for only getting my husbands step mom a sweater for Christmas, and demanded we give her a gift card later that week, I don’t want to get them gifts for Christmas anymore. AITA?
My husbands family is Jewish. His stepmom is ca non-practicing catholic but acts like she’s religious. I’m Catholic as well. When I met my husband I thought it was nice they also celebrated Christmas. However, after last year, I see it’s just about gifts to my in-laws. They obviously don’t celebrate the true meaning let alone make it all about spending QT with family. My MIL (hubs step mom) received a sweater from us. I was so excited bc the woman has everything you can imagine, and my husband always gifts gift cards which I think are lame if you have really good gifts in mind. I found a gorgeous cashmere sweater just as blue as her eyes and was so excited to give it to her. It was obviously expensive as it’s a luxury item, but on sale, it was the same amount we always spend on each of them ($150). My husband said, “that’s not a good idea. I know my dad.” I said, we’ll great, it’s not for your dad and I know your stepmom will love it!”
FF to Christmas. She opens the gift, across the room, FIL stared and didn’t say anything. To him, it was “just a sweater” — as though we spend less on her than everyone else. To me, it was a gorgeous luxury sweater as blue as her eyes that she probably wouldn’t have bought for herself on a whim.
That night, we fell asleep. FIL had the audacity to call my husband in the middle of the night to demand we tell his stepmom that we forgot to include a gift card along with her gift.
In the morning, my husband told me what happened. I was furious. Who does that??? And while I’d never expect to defend a “gift” I was so mad my husband didn’t tell his father he was being ridiculous, and incredibly out of line. I was so mad he didn’t just straight up tell him, it is cashmere, we spent the same on everyone, and she is free to return it as the gift receipt was included. And to have a merry Fkng night.
It caused a big fight ON CHRISTMAS DAY. A week later, he actually dropped off the gift card to avoid confrontation. rather than setting boundaries. Another fight.
I told him, we aren’t doing Christmas gifts with them anymore, and I want to tell them why. It’s not about gifts. I put thought into everyone a gifts and I feel they are ungrateful AH’s. I also hope when I host Christmas Eve in the future they don’t come.
AITA???