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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/PrincessAegonIXth on 2023-09-20 23:26:01.
my ex boyfriend was Indian and grew up in Dubai in a conservative family. two deeply patriarchal societies with rigid gender roles. he grew up with a cook in his house and servants, as is the norm for UAE. he was into bodybuilding and pretty much ate nothing but ground beef and doritos. he said cooking was a waste of time. I myself consider cooking to be my favourite hobby, and show people that I care about them by feeding them.
whenever I’d go into the kitchen to make dinner for us he would always appear by my side and share the tasks with me, even though he kinda sucked at them. if i would make something for him, because i wanted it and I can’t just cook for myself when I have a guest, he would still help and share the work.
when I’d talk about recipes that i enjoyed and say ‘I really love this recipe, I’ll make it for you sometime’ he’d laugh and tell me ‘wait, you don’t ever have to cook anything for me’.
moral of the story: how a man is raised is still no excuse for weaponized incompetence or forcing you to shut up and make him a sandwich. people can easily overcome being raised either in a different culture or in a deeply sexist western family. we’re not together anymore but he was a good man and I miss him.