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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dense_Feed_5743 on 2023-09-20 08:15:08.
Throwaway account.
My spouse is no-contact with his parents for years now. They’re repulsive narcissists who spent his childhood literally beating him, to say nothing of the accompanying mental abuse.
A few times a year (birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc) they reach out via text message. He NEVER responds, but it ruins his day/week/month and he often reacts in very self-destructive ways - he’ll drink too much, has driven drunk, that kind of thing. I know that’s his (our) problem. He’s working on it in therapy. I have no idea why he hasn’t simply blocked his family’s messages, but he hasn’t despite, again, NEVER responding to them.
Today I woke up early and suspected he’d get one of these text messages. I checked his phone. He did. I deleted it and went back to bed.
I don’t think what I did was “right”, but I don’t feel guilty about it, either. We had a great day, free from the usual bullshit that always accompanies his family’s messages on important days.
I guess what I’m asking is - have I fucked up in some horrific way? Would you be furious if you found out your spouse had done this? I can see how I would be TA here. I fucked with his phone/privacy and made a unilateral decision about what he should see. Maybe I should have let him deal with it, even if it meant he’d react in the usual really negative way.
Thank you for your time and responses.