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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/namaxie on 2023-09-20 07:40:00.
I say I don’t want sex right now, and they think all they have to do is feel me up and that’ll put me in the mood. I articulate that I actually just want to cuddle, but they insist on describing how good I’ll feel when they touch me. Fucking hell, why don’t you let me decide how I’ll feel when you touch me ON MY TERMS? Can I not be believed to know what I want for myself?
I’ve had this issue with even men I’d previously thought to be sweet and considerate. I went through a whole relationship where I was made to believe that there was something wrong with me and my sex drive. In reality, for the whole first year of that nearly 3 year relationship, I would face some sort of backlash (silent treatment, passive aggression, etc.) every time I said no to sex. That would mess a person up, hey? Even after going to therapy to deal with these sex-related issues, if I said no to sex, it felt like I owed him something. It fucking ruined the way I view sex. It sometimes feels like I am just a vessel for their pleasure. I think at this point I feel safer with just me and my vibrator ¯_(ツ)_/¯