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When I was 16, I had a crush on my friends cousin who was a junior in college. We just instantly clicked on every level and he is still the best person I know. Unfortunately when we tried dating, my dad found out and made a huge deal about him being in college and dating his “young” daughter from high school. I couldn’t understand it as we were only 5 years apart and absolutely the same age maturity wise, but dad did not approve and apparently the cursing out / shaming tactics worked on him and he regretfully broke up with me. He said he was cursed out by my dad, called a groomer and that he is taking advantage of me and he do not want to feel like a creep. It broke my heart, but I guess I focused on finishing high school and moving the hell out, so I can be with him in college. Unfortunately by the time I went to college, he was with his girlfriend, who he stayed together all throughout college and so on, and yesterday was their wedding. I am not gonna lie, I congratulated him but I felt really sad by that because I feel that should have been me. I have never met another man like him and I am developing some unhealthy jealousy towards his now wife. But I am working through this and also have created some daddy issue due to my resentment towards my dad.
Now to the hypocrisy part. My younger brother who is in high school, came out like a year ago. My family was very supporting and celebrated his journey. Especially my dad, who in the past had said some homophobic remarks have really done a 180 and have been very supporting to my brother and is very protective of him, except who he dates. See my brother has dated few guys who are considerably older than he is and for some reason my dad is perfectly okay with it. The final straw for me was his latest date that he brought to the wedding. My brother is now dating a guy who is 31 (14 year old difference) and my dad took photos with them together all really happy. I just couldn’t take it so when we got home, I exploded on my dad on how he could allow my brother to be in relationship with significantly older guy but had a problem with me dating a few years older. He says that my brother is a man and its different for daughters and I won’t be able to understand. I asked if his older boyfriend is now not taking advantage of my brother and he said that I am being homophobic by questioning their relationship. I in reply said that he is overcompensating of his previous homophobia by condoning pe**philia now. Well he got angry and kicked me out and then told my brother about that. Now both of them are not speaking but I don’t think I have said anything wrong here. AITA for saying this and How can I reach out to my brother and have him see my side in this ?