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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ConfusedDeathKnight on 2023-09-18 18:41:18.
The beginning is going to be a lot of context so I will provide a TL;DR below. Sorry!
For those who are unaware, like myself earlier in most states in the US you can be subjected to a pelvic exam under anesthesia with no prior information or consent this is solely for the teaching for a medical student.
I have not had an easy time with medical help, as a child I had multiple UTIs and I was brought to Darthmouth-Hitchcock and Johns-Hopkins and observed by multiple doctors on a table while I was given a catheter. This happened multiple times under the age of 10.
I was also born with a blind eye due to a now mostly-avoidable birth defect, the observation of my eye and development over my life and cooperation with doctors has in no small part contributed to the research of this disease. Due to that I am deeply passionate and proud of my disability at times because even though I missed out I feel it was used for good, so I am a prime candidate for the excuse that “UPE” are needed.
The cost of prescription every time: $4 Antibiotics & Cranberry JuiceThe development of fear towards doctors: Priceless
Last year almost to the day I was taken in by my friend for extreme pain and swelling in my leg. Let me tell you I had multiple people beg me to go in while I called them crying in pain. My leg was to the point that I could not crawl let alone stand I was screaming in bed with a left leg 2x bigger than my right. My friend at the time carried me down the stairs as I told him I was sorry for causing such a fuss, we got to the small emergency clinic in town (A triage basically to provide transport) They immediately called for transport to the major hospital and told me I had a severe clot. They provided nothing for comfort and laughed pretty casually. The nurse there would not let them take me to the ambulance or provide pain medication until I gave a urine sample. I was severely dehydrated and physically could not stand, she removed my clothes from me and sat me down on a portable toilet and berated me for multiple minutes until the very kind woman from the ambulance told her I was leaving. (A note those people were amazing and soothed me so much and provided pain medication immediately and even told me to report the prior woman)
Upon arrival to the hospital I was informed I may lose my foot as there was little to no pulse, I was told I was being admitted and that I would need to wait at least until monday for the “A” team to arrive. I admit I am a baby but at multiple points there was no empathy, I am sure however I am conflating my feelings overall but there were times that I was told repeatedly I wouldnt have water for hours if I didnt get any then and I begged during my windows to every nurse just to be ignored. The surgeon was amazing the procedure was terrifying and I did have some mild PTSD symptoms following, I had an intense fear that if I ever went under anesthetic something awful would happen or I would die, I truly felt like and still hold a now much smaller fear that I will die or come under harm just from the use of the anesthetic.
Knowing what would happen and informing myself was a huge priority to me, the fact this was a practice or possibility was NOT documented in any of the paperwork I did read and discuss. I *WAS* the ‘difficult’ patient asking questions, I BELIEVED TRULY I was receiving answers to the full knowledge and respect of my person by that doctor and perhaps filtered through simpler terms, I was not expecting lies by omission by people I placed my literal life in the hands of. I was thanked by many medical students after my procedure, again I felt a little proud to have helped people with my weird issues. I would have probably been ok with them checking had they asked, I cannot tell you the visceral knot in my stomach over this.
They removed over 24 inches of clot, I am on lifetime blood thinners, I have a stent placed and I have Factor V and May Thurner Syndrome I am grateful to have my leg and most of its function.
Last night to my disgust I learned UPE are a thing, and this morning on checking my insurance and records I had one. I was disgusted to learn of it and I’m not sure what to do with the knowledge. I have read the testimonies and arguments, I don’t see how sane legislators (oxymoronic I know) can not pass a tighter bill on needs for informed consent. Why have we ended up with a medical system so unempathetic.
Not to mention shortly after this at another ER admission for bad rectal bleeding (still diagnosing but currently labeled UC/Chrons by the gastro who did my colonoscopy) I was ignored at my multiple times to inform them of my clotting condition and they almost killed me pushing fluids and had to bring a crash cart. I have never had a nurse with panicked eyes tell me it would be ok, for someone who had come in, 27 years old and informed of prior health issues, and otherwise been treated with almost no pain killers should not have almost died in the hospital due to fluids. I was given a colonoscopy by a doctor who left me pants down uncovered after procedure and a plain clothes anesthesiologist who legitimately let my head hit the table and did not tell me he was pushing anything. The gastroenterologist was then let go by the hospital and he botched my procedure (removing all relevant tissue and damage but not sending the samples, I have been terrified of colorectal cancer and I got extremely dismissed) and never even gave the authorization to my insurance for the one maintenance drug ($800 otherwise) that doesn’t conflict with my blood thinner.
Now I’m seeing a PCP and the current solution to my problem? Hydrocodone. I don’t even want it I just want to be alive without all this. I never even got physical therapy for my leg, my inpatient colonoscopy I was sent home and have had worsening symptoms every day since. I now have a hernia and without opiates I cannot keep food down. I want to die, my morale is nonexistent.
I can’t tell you how much this “nothing burger” thing has taken away the trust I had to force myself to have for these people, how am I supposed to keep asking for help like some sad puppy dog waiting to get kicked.
When does it stop? Does it stop?
TL;DR Went for pain in leg, got diagnosed with DVT caused by May Thurner + Factor V had Thrombectomy and learned this morning I had an UPE. (Unconcious Pelvic Exam) While under anesthetic for my surgery and had multiple medical students check my genital area without my prior knowledge and *informed* consent. This has caused my already damaged trust for doctors to completely disappear and I want to just submit to pain. Chronic or unknown pain is already so humiliating and helpless, how am I supposed to even ask for help.