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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ExpensivePrompt9836 on 2023-09-18 19:07:25.

I (34F) and my wife (40 also F obviously) have two children, twin girls aged 5. They are the best things that have ever happened to us. We live next door to a couple “Fumiko” and her husband “Jiro”. They are in their 70’s and moved here from Japan to be closer to their son about 20 years ago. Fumiko and Jiro adore the girls. They are so good with them. Always making them special foods, coming outside when they see them to say hello, letting them help in their garden (which is more nuisance than help lol) and much much more. In return, the girls LOVE them. My wife jokes that they probably like them better than us. One time my wife had a broken leg that required surgery and they kept the girls overnight. It was all they talked about for weeks. They call them Granny and Papa J. We are so lucky to have them.

My own parents on the other hand, are not close to us and never will be. They never fully accepted that I married a woman and only begrudgingly came around when the girls were born. I wouldn’t say their granddaughters are close with them. They were here this weekend and saw an Omamori charm on one of my girls backpacks. This is particularly special- Fumiko and Jiro had gone to Japan for a few weeks over the summer and brought them back for protection for the girls. They worry about them in school given uh, America. My wife and I are agnostic but were deeply touched by the gesture.

My mom asked what it was and one of the girls told her proudly and that “granny gave it to her.” My dad looked at me and said “why do you let them hang out with those insert racial slur so much?” I pretty much fricken lost it. Said what I said in the title, didn’t allow arguments and kicked them out of my house. My wife said she was proud of me.

Today my mom said she was “expecting an apology for breaking her heart” and all I can think about is cutting them off for good. They are the girls grandparents though, maybe only in name but still. It feels like a huge step, and a permanent one and I just don’t know. Am I the a for saying what I said? For possibly cutting them off? I could set harsher boundaries, maybe.