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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/eponymous-octopus on 2023-09-18 19:23:09.
About a year ago, I posted that I was totally overwhelmed with childcare and household duties because my husband had seemingly checked out. I got a lot of sympathetic replies but also some tough love about needing to stand up for myself. I had meant to wait for the right moment to talk to my husband but one night he was joking with the kids about how no one remembers to take the trash out when he is away on work travel and I burst into tears. I went to our bedroom to calm down for about 20 minutes, made sure the kids were busy playing, and then went to talk to him. I told him that I understood that his work was demanding but that I felt like our balance of work in the house had changed without ever talking about it. He asked me what I was feeling most overwhelmed with, apologized for not talking to me more about what would have to change when he took his new job, and asked me what I wanted to shift back to him. We talked about what was realistic given both of our jobs and that maybe we needed to change our standards to make room for our new busy lives. He was supportive and open and everything that I fell in love with. Anyway, I didn’t want you to only hear about the hard stuff. Sometimes just talking can really help. Thanks for all the support!