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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SubstanceFuzzy7242 on 2023-09-18 17:43:55.
I (24f) am the youngest of two. My sister Elizabeth is 28. Growing up she was the golden child and I was the scapegoat. While she could do no wrong, I could never do anything right where our parents were concerned. Her opinion and feelings held all the weight while mine held none at all. My parents have described Elizabeth as the perfect daughter and their dream come true. They also lived in a country with no abortion access when mom got pregnant with me. I believe because they didn’t want another child or because I look like my mom’s deadbeat father that I was treated as I was.
Elizabeth and I were not close growing up. Sometimes she would throw the favoritism in my face with questions “why don’t mom and dad ask what your favorite food is? why do they never take you on special trips? why do you have to do chores to earn birthday and Christmas gifts?” I was 12 when I spoke to a trusted adult who said golden kids sometimes don’t realize how wrong it is and can be really messed up by the favoritism but can grow to be better people. I was encouraged to keep the door open and told she might be my biggest ally. So even though I often got punished for crap she’d do, like sneaking out, I hoped.
Three years ago Elizabeth came to me and said she hated how our parents treated me and she was sorry for being insensitive as a kid. We got close which I loved. She told me she basically had no contact with our parents. I found out a few months ago that it was a lie and she was always in contact with our parents and I found this out thanks to her throwing a party to celebrate the birth of her second child. My parents were there and commented that they were glad they had a child to give them grandkids and since they would only ever have two grandkids, they could spoil them rotten. Elizabeth beamed. Elizabeth’s MIL asked about me and Elizabeth scowled at her for asking. It really hurt to see her react like that.
Elizabeth asked for my help a lot. Babysit, pick up groceries, come help with the kids, etc. She would mention mom and dad and how great they were as parents and how they’d be even better grandparents. I reminded her they were terrible parents to me. She rolled her eyes the first couple of times. But then she said I was ungrateful and childish considering all they had done for her and she said it was spiteful to be angry at them after all this time. I told her I had every right to be and she said I hold onto petty shit because I’m spiteful. I brought up the fact she lied about having no contact with mom and dad and she called me childish again.
My sister’s husband was injured and she started to struggle with the kids and seeing him. She asked me for help with the kids and I found out she only asked me because our parents were busy and she didn’t want to inconvenience them. I refused to help her and told her she should ask our parents since I’m so ungrateful, childish and spiteful. She said I was an asshole for my response and lack of help.
AITA?