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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Pollaski on 2023-09-18 16:53:29.
The Tank Job of the Week is an award for the FBS team that did the best job of humiliating itself over the weekend. Whether they blew a large lead, choked away a spot in the limelight, lost a game they had absolutely no right losing, or completely screwed everything on a last second blunder, the TJOTW winner sets the gold standard in college football misery.
PREVIOUS WINNERS
1. Baylor Bears (lost to Texas State 42-31)
2. Nevada Wolfpack (lost to Idaho 33-6)
LAST WEEK: I’ll be honest, I thought Alabama was going to win this because there were going to be a ton of Schadenfreudy posters ready to kick them while they were down. I didn’t give you guys enough credit because ya’ll went out and gave the award to a Group of Five team for the first time since I started doing this on Reddit. Houston got a lot of attention for their faceplant against Rice, but the overwhelming number of votes were for Nevada and their absolute housing at the hands of Idaho. I will say though, it was funny to see a lot of “you just cant lose to an FCS team this badly and not win this” posts given how previous games like that had been ignored. I especially hope you Colorado State fans had the decency to look slightly sheepish considering you totally got away with stealing Nevada’s coach and getting blasted by 31 by Sac State last year (to be fair, that was the same week as MTSU flattening Miami and that Mizzou/Auburn game)
Onto this week, and I’ll confess I’m bummed. Alabama, Florida State, Texas, Colorado, Kansas, Wisconsin, Wake Forest and probably a few others all put up performances that put them in line for surefire nominations- if not winners. All escaped. So while this week’s crop is definitely solid (including several teams that were escaped from), it could have been so much more.
NOTE: For Ease of Counting, please use carats in your vote, like this: . Thank you, and thanks for participating!
HONORABLE MENTIONS: The announcers in the Rocky Mountain Showdown. Blatant homering the Buffs aside, “Do You Believe Now?” goes into the books as the worst end of game soundbytes since “What A Time To Be Alive!”
And now, the nominees for Week 3 are…
ARIZONA STATE SUN DEVILS (lost to Fresno State 29-0)
Don’t get me wrong- Fresno’s a very good team and I’d pick them to win the Mountain West right now. But they absolutely should not be blanking anyone- much less a Pac-12 squad like this (and let’s be honest, the Bulldogs left a TON of points off the board). The Sun Devils were never even close to being in this game, and ended with just 250 yards and… eight turnovers. That’s right, the dreaded Turnover Spider has returned.
BOSTON COLLEGE EAGLES (lost to Florida State 31-29)
I gotta put them on here. The Eagles played a hell of a game, and took it to the heavily favored Seminoles, and even came back after going down 31-16. But eighteen penalties- including an awful facemask that gave the ‘Noles the last first down they needed to ice the game. They ripped that flaming spear right out of Chief Osceola’s hands… and promptly plunged it through their own foot.
CINCINNATI BEARCATS (lost to Miami-OH 31-24)
It is turning out to be a very bad year for Big 12 teams dealing with in-state rivals from lesser conferences. Cincy was favored by two touchdowns in the 127th playing of the Victory Bell rivalry. But despite outgaining the Redhawks by nearly 200 yards, the Bearcats were playing from behind the entire game. They caught up, tied it, and even had a chance to win in regulation before Miami blocked the field goal. Miami got a touchdown in overtime, Cincy didn’t, and the Redhawks snapped a 16-game losing streak to their rival.
COLORADO STATE RAMS (lost to Colorado 43-35)
Like Boston College, I gotta nominate them. CSU absolutely played the game of their lives against a heavily favored Colorado squad. But with a chance to make a statement win and assert in-state dominance, the Rams completely bottled it. Punting on 4th down when two measley yards would have iced the game away, going into soft prevent defense and still giving up a 45 yard touchdown to tie, not going for two in the first overtime, and all the personal fouls and other penalties that took the Rams right out of the win column.
OKLAHOMA STATE COWBOYS (lost to South Alabama 33-7)
What the hell happened here? The Cowboys weren’t exactly dominant favorites heading in, but nothing indicated that they were going to be absolutely shredded by the Jaguars. USA roared out to a 23-0 halftime lead, nearly doubled up OSU’s yardage, and would have shut them out if not for a single Cowboy touchdown early in the fourth quarter. South Alabama’s pulled a few upsets and scares before, but have never been this dominant.
OLD DOMINION MONARCHS (lost to Wake Forest 27-24)
The Monarchs exploded in the second quarter, going up 17-0 at the half and even 24-7 after a Pick-six in the third quarter. But then they buckled, and Wake Forest worked its way back, pulling within four early in the fourth quarter, then a complete disaster when a 3rd and 11 from their own 35 turned into a monster sack and fumble that set the Deacons up at the 6 for the winning touchdown. ODU couldn’t respond, and let the Deacs escape Norfolk.
STANFORD CARDINAL (lost to Sacramento State 30-23)
Boy, must this have been awkward. Troy Taylor was the coach at Sac State for four seasons, before departing to Palo Alto to replace David Shaw this year. Fate dealt him a match against his old team in just his third game, and despite a 14-3 lead early, the Hornets gave him and the Cardinal all they could handle. And then with just over a minute left, the Hornets bomb one in from 49 yards out to make life just a bit more miserable in the Bay Area.
TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS (lost to Florida 29-16)
For the tenth time in a row, the Swamp has claimed the Vols. Tennessee came in ranked eleventh and nearly a touchdown favorite… and promptly went down 26-7 at the half. Florida suffocated them with thirty-seven minutes of possession, two turnovers, and just did not let the Vols get back into the game. But at least Tennessee was able to save that one last timeout so they could deck the quarterback on fourth down with five seconds left. Good job, guys!
VANDERBILT COMMODORES (lost to UNLV 40-37)
So maybe a home and home with the Rebels wasn’t the bestest idea. UNLV took the first leg in Nashville way back in 2019 34-10. Vandy looked well on their way to revenge in Vegas Saturday night, going up 17-0 early in the second quarter. And then UNLV rattled off 30 consecutive points. Vandy did come back, and tied it at 37 with just over a minute left… and then UNLV kinda sorta dropped a 48 yard pass over their heads to set up the game winning field goal. Ouch.