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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CreativeShape155 on 2023-09-15 20:58:52.
I, 30 female, am getting married in November. It’s been a day that I’ve looked forward to my whole life and even more so now because my fiancé and I have a 1 year old son and we will finally be and “official” family. My older sister (32) and I have never had the closet relationship but I try to put effort in to be involved her life and her 4 children’s lives. When I was pregnant my sister offered to plan a babyshower for me but ended up canceling on me the week of. I was pretty hurt but never the less, I forgave her and moved on. Fast forward a year later, my fiancé and I sent our our save the dates for our wedding 9 months in advance to ensure family had enough time to take time off work and make travel plans. My sister expressed excitement about our wedding and even agreed to help do my hair the day of. A few days ago she told me she isn’t coming to our wedding and didn’t give me any reason. I was pretty hurt so I told her that it’s her loss and she is choosing to not be involved in the important moments and that she will regret it some day. I told her that with her not following through on my babyshower and now not attending my wedding, the bridge is pretty much burned. Keep in mind, all my other siblings, aunts, uncles etc. are all coming. She is the only family member not making the effort. My dad says I was pretty harsh towards her, so AITA for telling her she will regret it and that it’s her loss?
EDIT: I should have mentioned that my sister has 4 children all under 10 years old. I am very understanding that she is busy with her kids, however, her kids were also invited to our wedding and I even planned a kids area at our reception for all the kids we have invited.
2nd EDIT: I see a lot of you commenting that her husband maybe isolating her or not allowing her to attend. I do not believe that to be the case because she has attended many other (and very recent family events, like my sister’s engagement) however, that is a genuine concern and I will make the effort to dig into that more and ask that another family member checkin to ensure that is not the case. If it is the case then yes I will accept that my reaction was wrong, but because she is always attending other family occasions I do not believe that to be the case.