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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Dangerous_Wrangler_2 on 2023-09-15 12:02:24.


Yesterday I received my first write up.

For “Personally attacking” my coworker.

It was during a meeting when keeping our store clean came up, and I mentioned a ton of cigarette butts along the bushes, and how we should handle those? My male coworker pipes up that it was probably him and that he’s been throwing them out there and apologizes to everyone. Then turned to me and said “but if you saw them why didn’t you pick them up” and I said “why would I want to pick up anything that’s been in someone’s mouth?” And apparently I had “bad body language” when I said this.

This coworker for MONTHS has harassed me. The worst one being: we get bonuses for reaching sales goals, my department is part of it because I contribute to a big chunk of the goal (about 1/3 of it). They were discussing how the bonus has gotten smaller due to more people being a part of it. And another coworker threw in “maybe (refers to me) should be off of it” and I immediately defended myself and said “I deserve to be on it as much as all of you” and they laughed at me. So, I seriously asked “why do you think I don’t deserve this bonus as much as you?” And the problematic coworker from above says “we never said you didn’t” and I replied with “but by saying that you’re insinuating I don’t” and his reply was “and that’s because you have to be a victim, that’s victim mentality” and walked off.

I went to my superior about it and he laughed in my face and told me it was just a joke. But he could “talk” to him if I really wanted him to.

These were not the first comments or problems with him and he’s NEVER been written up once.

So my question is: should I fight this write up and go to HR? What would I even say to HR and how would I request a meeting?

This just feels extremely unfair to be called disrespectful and that I was personally attacking my coworker when I wasn’t even discussing him. What do I do, just keep my head down and take it?