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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Development_9673 on 2023-09-14 12:18:50.
I come from a Japanese/Chinese background and my parents moved to Australia just as I was born. They named me with a traditional Japanese/Chinese name however told everyone to call me by a fake English name, Jessica. This was completely their decision and I had no say in this. I grew up well into adulthood being known by everyone as Jessica and I never got the chance to identify with my actual name. No one has ever called me by that name in my life, not even my parents.
Whenever I write my legal name down or get called it from a teacher or something I feel like I’m an imposter or like I was trying to hide my traditional name when I had no say in being called Jessica.
It also kinda fucks with my identity as the name that makes me feel like me is just fake name. I don’t associate with my real name at all.
I wish my parents just stuck with my real name and didn’t use a fake English name which I now predominantly identify with.
I told my mum I wanted to legally change my name bc of the above reasons and she got pretty upset. Am I the asshole?
Update: my mother got angry and stormed out of the house but called me 20min later saying she was bringing cake and that she recognises Jessica is a name I’ve always identified with (brought up some story about when I was like 5 and got mad at another girl for calling me Jessmango 😂). She explained her choice for my real name and told me about how much thought she put into it but that she also supports my name change. I feel so emotional now but good that my mum is on my side now.