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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/-incurablehumanist on 2023-09-14 02:51:37.
I’m (32/F) currently 33 weeks pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. From my perspective, I haven’t asked my husband (42/M) for much—I still cook the majority of our meals, have researched/procured all the baby gear, and try to find fun activities for us to enjoy together.
Until recently, I haven’t discouraged him from going out or insisted that he stop drinking/smoking cannabis/eating carbs just because I no longer can. There have been many times over the past few months where I’ve offered to be the designated driver, etc. I don’t want to be a total killjoy, even if I do get annoyed about bearing the brunt of the physical and metal workload of creating a human.
My one request has been that he refrain from getting tipsy/drunk one month prior to my due date. I’m not entirely certain when I’ll go into labor, and I would like him to be coherent and able to drive me to the hospital in the event that something happens.
Last week we attended a concert where he got quite drunk—I was frustrated because I ended up feeling more nauseous/tired than expected and couldn’t rely on him to drive home.
Keeping that in mind, we have a concert coming up in 2 weeks where I will be exactly 1 month away from my original due date. Tonight I reminded him that while I didn’t care if he had 1-2 drinks, I would like him to be able to drive us home from the city in case I didn’t feel up to it. I could tell he was irritated with me and he said “you had no problem driving everywhere before” and “when I go out, I like to have a good time.”
I replied that yes—I didn’t mind driving him everywhere before I was 33 weeks pregnant/exhausted, and that yes—I also like to have a good time when I go out, but that he could still have a fun time without getting totally wasted.
He then argued that I asked him to stop drinking to the point of inebriation “one month before the due date” so this was unreasonable. I pointed out that it was exactly a month before the due date, and that my doctor thinks I might be induced at 38 weeks (making the concert only 3 weeks before my due date). I just feel like he thinks we have a lot more time than we do.
AITA for making this request? He is making me feel like a giant crazy/demanding person.