This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/lurkerspringa on 2025-07-09 21:53:03+00:00.


Notes:

  1. These results come from my post earlier this morning

  2. I have opted for a 3-4 defense as there were a ton of outstanding LB names

  3. LBs, DBs and QBs have the most outrageous names. Enjoy.


Head Coach: Dean Pees; Kent State (4 Upvotes)

1st Team Offense:

QB: General Booty; ULM (207 upvotes)

RB: Jimmy Johns; Alabama (17 Upvotes)

WR: Decoldest Crawford; Louisiana Tech (182 upvotes)

WR: Peerless Price; Tennessee (38 Upvotes)

WR: Buster Rhymes; Oklahoma (22 Upvotes)

TE: Jake Butt (152 Upvotes)

OL: D’Brickashaw Ferguson; UVA (294 Upvotes; received the most votes of any player)

OL: Parker Titsworth; Ohio (102 Upvotes)

OL: King Large; SMU (19 Upvotes)

OL: Kobe Buffalomeat; Illinois State (6 Upvotes)

OL: Tiger Shanks; UNLV (5 Upvotes)

1st Team Defense:

DL: Dee Liner; Alabama (31 Upvotes)

DL: Bronko Nagurski; Minnesota (13 Upvotes)

DL: Lion King; Eastern Michigan (5 Upvotes)

LB: Noah Knigga; Eastern Michigan (196 Upvotes)

LB: Memorable Factor; Duke (70 Upvotes)

LB: Happy Dicks; UGA (56 Upvotes)

LB: Lucious Pusey; Eastern Illinois (32 Upvotes)

CB: Storm Duck; UNC (128 Upvotes)

CB: Wonderful Teriffic Monds, Jr.; Nebraska (90 Upvotes)

S: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix; Alabama (185 Upvotes)

S: Wave Ryder; Navy (79 Upvotes)

1st Team Special Teams:

PK: Chris Blewitt; Pitt (80 Upvotes)

P: William Shakespeare; ND (57 Upvotes)


2nd Team Offense:

QB: Jim Bob Cooter; Tennessee (48 Upvotes)

This team has a deep QB room with benchwarmers BJ Dickey; Michigan (38 Upvotes), Monte Cristo; Nebraska (31 Upvotes) and Munchie Legaux; Cincy (23 Upvotes)

RB: Chris Fuamatu-Ma’afala; Utah (15 Upvotes)

shout out to backups Young Boozer; Bama and IM Hipp; Neb. (13 Upvotes each)

WR: Boobie Feaster; USC (12 Upvotes)

WR: Phat Watts; Tulane (7 Upvotes)

WR: Golden Tate; ND (5 Upvotes)

TE: Kyle Sackrider; Michigan State / Rowdy Beers; FIU (disrespectfully low 4 Upvotes each)

OL: Pork Chop Womack, Miss. State (2 Upvotes)

OL: Lloyd Cushenberry III; LSU (2 Upvotes)

OL: Guy Whimper, ECU (2 Upvotes)

OL: T-Bob Hebert; LSU (2 Upvotes)

OL: Gentle Williams; Cal (2 Upvotes)

2nd Team Defense:

DL: Legend Journey; Cal (4 Upvotes)

DL: Silverberry Mouhon; Cincy (4 Upvotes)

DL: Octavious Oxendine; Kentucky / Oghenerukevwe Orhorhoro; Clemson (3 Upvotes)

LB: Yourhighness Morgan; FAU (31 Upvotes)

LB: Steele Chambers; Ohio State (16 Upvotes)

LB: Michael Stonebreaker; ND (14 Upvotes)

LB: Barkevious Mingo; LSU (12 Upvotes)

shout out to backup Bumper Pool; Arkansas (7 Upvotes)

CB: Smoke Monday; Auburn (72 Upvotes)

CB: Moh Bility; Rice (40 Upvotes)

S: Corn Elder; Miami (50 Upvotes)

S: Dude Person; Central Arkansas (42 Upvotes)

shoutout to backups Kool-aid McKinstry; Bama (36 Upvotes), Pig Cage; UTSA (22 Upvotes) and Immaculate Perfection Harris; Georgia Tech (9 Upvotes)

Bonus PK: Swayze Waters; UAB (2 Upvotes)