This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/HannibalAtCannae on 2025-07-09 19:31:25+00:00.


Jax State (8/28) - Had to throw out the playbook at kick-off when he realized that he’s playing Jax State and NOT Jackson State, and that Coach Prime coaches neither team.

NC A&T (9/6) - Thought he was playing a phone book publishing company and not an agricultural & technical school

UNC (9/20) - Honestly UNC is going to be such a shit show this year that UCF should fire him if he loses this game (but instead will give him an extension)

K-State (9/27) - O-line wasn’t vomiting enough prior to, during, or after the game.

Kansas (10/4) - Didn’t realize Kansas and K-State are two different teams. Thought this was a bye week.

Cincy (10/11) - Stranded in Vegas going to a Jimmy Buffet concert only to find out that Jimmy Buffet died in 2023 and he has front-row seats to Jimmy Eat World. Accidentally misses the concert anyway because he heads to the Sphere instead of the Vegas Event Center.

WV (10/18) - Mike Riley culture of softness, weakness, and general effete weight-lifting practices continues to poison the UCF locker-room

Baylor (11/1) - Upset that he chose to wear a Marshall Paw Patrol costume for Halloween instead of a Rocky costume. Skips game because “it wasn’t a good fit”

Houston (11/7) - An unseasonably late heat wave caused his team to warm-up without hoodies vs Houston. He disparages his players and notes that at Nebraska, his players wore hoodies pre-game

Texas Tech (11/15) - Doesn’t know where Lubbock is; chartered a flight to Dallas instead. Also Nebraska alumni are not supporting him enough.

Oklahoma State (11/22) - Game planned for a Lincoln Riley-coached team

BYU (11/29) - Wants to maintain a tradition of losing 13-10 in the last regular season game. used ChatGPT for all playcalling, but insists on using o1-mini to save on token costs.