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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/IDI0T_D00M_SPIRAL on 2023-09-13 23:24:12.
Quick rant, fresh feelings. Just need to get it out.
So tonight a guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks ended things with me. We met in real life (as opposed to apps) and spent almost every day of the past two weeks together. He was vocally into me, desperate to make plans with me, introduced me to his friends, had made me a known person in his life. I had been holding back because it is a horrific pattern in my life where men get SO over excited about me for two weeks then they leave. So I have to be cautious for self preservation.
But now I’m just not sure if it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. If I didn’t hold back would things be different? I’m an anxious human being and I’m so tired of this happening. I just don’t get how I can fix this pattern in my life. I’ve not been dating much over the past year but this pattern has been consistent for the last 10 years. I’ve never had a serious relationship because this is all I get.
I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I’m just feeling down. My self esteem is real low generally and this just doesn’t help. My friends are always annoyed and confused on my behalf and say I don’t deserve this and it doesn’t make sense, but, it doesn’t feel helpful. It still fucking happens.