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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Winter_Bumblebee_106 on 2023-09-13 20:01:16.

This is mostly about my oldest daughter Maya (17f) and her younger sister Chloe (12f). Maya has never had a room of her own. We had very little money through her childhood, so she slept with us as a baby/ toddler, then shared with our son (15m) from the ages of 3-9 when we started renting a larger 2-bed house.

By the time Maya was 9, it was no longer appropriate to have mixed genders sharing. We moved into a 3-bed house, we gave our son the smallest room in the house, and the girls shared the largest room. It admittedly wasn’t particularly big (definitely no space for a partition wall etc.) but had space for both their beds, drawers, books etc.

Maya was initially frustrated because, when Chloe was 4-6ish, she would throw massive tantrums and scream all night about going to bed, keeping Maya awake, but she has obviously aged out of that and the girls seemed fairly content sharing through Maya’s tween years. We thought this was a very normal, healthy, situation, especially since my wife shared with her own younger sister until she moved out the house.

By the time Maya was 15, we were in a much better financial position and were able to purchase a house. We could potentially have afforded a larger house (to claify), however, we really liked the house we were already renting, so we bought a house which was absolutely identical around the corner (it’s an ex-council estate so lots of similar houses).

Maya was very excited about the move and had assumed we would buy a house where she could have her own bedroom, and was incredibly angry when she found out we had bought an identical house. She’s now studying for her final exams and is constantly angry and arguing about her lack of privacy/ study space and having to share a room with a “child”.

Her biggest complaints are not being able to have friends stay over, not being allowed to have the lights or her phone on or make noise in the room past her sister’s bedtime (8.30 on school nights), and Chloe going through her drawers and things (which we have absolutely warned Chloe not to do).

We do think these are valid complaints but Maya just does not seem to want to understand that her brother and sister can’t share, and we can’t conjure up a fourth bedroom. She’ll be going away for university next year and this won’t be so much of an issue anyway.

This week, Maya got so frustrated with Chloe rooting through her clothes drawer that she threw a glass of water in her face, screamed at us that she hates us and we’re terrible parents, and left the house for hours to just roam the streets. This broke our heart, but we don’t think we’re actually doing anything wrong by denying her her own bedroom. We thought this was a common situation for siblings, but Maya claims she’s the only person in her year who has to share and it’s embarrassing.

AITA?