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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/JaneAustenfangal on 2023-09-13 17:01:43.


My profile clearly states I’m looking for a relationship. In conversation when he asked what I was looking for, I replied “love”. So we kept chatting and I joked about when he was going to ask me out. He said this weekend but he should tell me about his “naughty” side first. Mind you, this was the first real conversation we had ever had. Before this we had just exchanged a handful of text messages. I asked him if it was really relevant to a first date. He insisted. I resisted. He continued to insist on discussing his fetishes and kinks without any rapport or trust between us. I eventually unmatched.

I’m all for discussing sexual preferences, but shouldn’t it be once you have some rapport? Does it really have to be a condition of even getting to a first date? I feel like he had some pornified sexual fantasy in his mind and was just looking for the first available woman to slot in there. It didn’t have anything to do with me. It gave me the ick and a feeling of disrespect. It also came across that all he wanted was sex and not to get to know me as a person. Do guys really have to turn things sexual so early on especially when we’re clear that we’re looking for more?