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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Thrwwayday on 2023-09-13 04:40:17.
32F. I’ve had a copper IUD (paragard) for the last 9 years. Manufacturer says good for 10, PP says good for 12. My periods are super, super regular and have been for the better part of 5-6 years. I track on an app and am usually only 1-2 days if ever. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been late. Those 5 years have included grad school, immense stress, moving, intense career movement, lack of sleep, you name it, periods still regular.
I’ve been dating a guy for 3 months. We are monogamous and fully STI tested, plus i’ve got the paragard, we start without condoms but he puts one on closer to ejaculation. Has NEVER ejaculated inside me.
We did have sex on the day my tracker says I would have ovulated, but again–no ejaculation without condoms, and I have the paragard.
My period is currently 5 days late. Took a negative dollar store pregnancy test this morning. Like any insanely high anxiety person, Im still freaking out. I was at the OBGYN a few weeks ago for something else and she confirmed strings were there (I cannot check the string myself, never have been able to).
I realize the likelihood is extremely low, but I’m still freaked out. I lost my dream job in a mass layoff last winter (a company and role with great parental leave and benefits where I could have had a baby), currently work at the start up from hell and am interviewing for other roles. A baby right now would wreck everything I’ve worked so hard for in my career. Also this relationship is too new I feel to hold up after pregnancy–I feel like terminating a pregnancy in any relationship has the potential to ruin it, and keeping it would also be a terrible idea. Additionally, I was raised by a super anti abortion mother, and while I vote to protect choice and my training is as a healthcare provider and I have had to walk people through the process, I know deep down if I ever have one personally i’ll have to go to every family event knowing im lying to my mom. My brother and his ex girlfriend had two abortions, my mom knows about one and goes around saying “my dead grandchild” which makes me cringe.
Additionally, two of my close friends are currently pregnant–If i was pregnant and terminated, I think part of me is afraid I’d always wonder what could have been, around the same age, when I hold their babies and babysit. I think I want a kid one day, but I cannot do that right now or it would ruin everything.
Can someone please walk me down off this anxiety ridden ledge? I had COVID last month right as my period was starting, so i don’t know if anyones cycles have been whacked out from that, but I’ve had 2 prior COVID infections and neither altered my cycle.