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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/catsaregod143 on 2023-09-12 02:32:21.

I (F25) and my colleague Angela (F27) were teammates until I got promoted, and receive higher salary.

We do not talk much (she has her own circle of friends within the office and I have mine) but we shared common interest (Korean drama and movies) and most of our topics are about anything korean until recently she started telling me about her problems.

I am single (no partner, no kids). While she is married with 3 kids (3.5M, 2F, and a 6month old M). Her husband doesn’t have a job and is the one tending to their kids. They had a food poisoning incident at home and all her kids needed to be rushed to the emergency as they kept vomiting, had fever. She then went to me to borrow money. That time, I lent her as I understood the urgency and it involved her kids’ health. She paid it on her promised date which was great.

And then the borrowing continued. She messaged me 2 weeks after the emergency that she now needs to borrow because what she had at the moment was not enough for daily needs until the payday. I told her that I do not have spare to give anymore due to my own expenses and other stuff (I have 5 cats and god knows how much money I had to spend during vet visit). But I offered to share my packed lunches if she liked, I could packed bigger portion for the two of us. She said she didn’t want to. She was able to borrow from one of her college friends.

And then just yesterday Angela messaged me, borrowing again. She said she’s short on rent payment. I said I don’t have extra to spare. She said she understood.

Earlier, during lunch break, we sat on the same table and I was chatting with one of my friends about this kpop awards show and that I would be going to it with our other friend who’s also a fan. Angela heard our conversation as she’s on the same table, she said “You actually have money to spare” I was confused and I asked her “huh?” She answered “You said you don’t have extra money to let me borrow so my family can keep our place and be able to eat” all our friends on the table were confused. Angela added, “I am also a fan of Korean groups but I would never prioritize it over the human basic needs”

I got really upset and lashed out. “Look here, you chose to have many children to feed, and it’s not my fault. I don’t bear responsibility on your family. And this kpop concert ticket is a need for ME.”

She called me an insensitive bitch and that I don’t understand because I’m not a mother.

To which I answered “your kids aren’t my kids. I will be buying this kpop concert ticket whether you and your family get kicked out or run out of foods to eat. Your family is not my responsibility.”

She walked out and cried. Our colleague who heard the conversation said I was kinda too much and that I could be more understanding with other people’s situation. My mother said she understood me, and that I get to do whatever I want to do with my hard-earned money.

AITA?