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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/atthrowawa_y on 2023-09-11 18:44:15.
My sister has two kids, John 15 and Annie 16.
They’re complete opposites. John’s more… generic? Pretty much what you think of when you think 15yo boy that does sports. Annie’s more on the “doesn’t fit in” side or at least that’s what she thinks.
Anyways, my sister called me last night and asked if I could take John for a couple nights. I said of course and asked why and she told me that Annie crossed a line.
Now, John’s report card from last year wasn’t very good. He was pretty embarrassed by it but there was an underlying reason. He goes into these depression slumps often and yeah, my sister and her husband are talking to professionals but it’s taking a very long time to get somewhere. Annie is aware of this and hasn’t really expressed any concern but we figured she just doesn’t get the seriousness of it.
Well, apparently she took pictures of John’s report card and posted it on her snap story. Most ppl didn’t care but a select few (Annie’s best friends) tried to make it this big thing. John and Annie have each other blocked but John’s friends texted him about it and John got really upset. They had a massive fight and Annie said some horrible things about how he’s just an idiot that’s faking his slumps. She said things like “I’m the one that mom and dad should care about, not your privileged ass.”
It was overall a very bad fight and my sister wants to get to the bottom of Annie’s comments but she also doesn’t want to subject John to Annie any longer. So I went to pick John up and while I was talking to my sister about the next few nights, Annie came out of her bedroom yelling at me and asking me if I’m taking John’s side too. I didn’t say anything which upset her even more and she said “I need someone on my side too, you’re all taking his side because he’s pretending to have depression and I assumed you would be smarter about this considering how intelligent you are but you’re also just another victim of misogyny.”
My sister seemed to be at a loss for words and I just went “Do you even know what you’re talking about?”
This struck a nerve in Annie and she was like “of course I fucking do, I’m a woman. I’ve been dealing with misogyny all my life and you questioning me like this just proves that you’re just like all the other women in this goddamn country. You’re a woman, how dare you question my experience…” or whatever else she said. She was using big words throughout and honestly she does have a point but it doesn’t apply in this situation in my opinion.
Either way, she actually made a tiktok about how her family is misogynistic etc and used my “do you even know what you’re talking about” thing as her main example and though this account is PRIVATE, she has a couple hundred followers that seem horrified by what I said. I know this because Annie has been sending me screenshots of these comments. AITA?
Edit:
Just wanted to clarify that niece is not and was not being neglected because of John. My sister doesn’t favor John, and no one expects my niece to drop everything for her brother. I don’t think people understand but John did need extra attention for a while because his mental state was so unstable and he was in hospital. But Annie was never neglected. After he got out of the danger zone, a parent was always at home. They even had multiple heart to hearts with Annie about how she felt etc. No one’s perfect and I’m not saying we didn’t make mistakes, but my sister’s doing her best for both of her kids during this very difficult time. Please don’t make assumptions about how bad of a mother my sister is because she isn’t a bad mom.