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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Pollaski on 2023-09-11 17:10:51.
The Tank Job of the Week is an award for the FBS team that did the best job of humiliating itself over the weekend. Whether they blew a large lead, choked away a spot in the limelight, lost a game they had absolutely no right losing, or completely screwed everything on a last second blunder, the TJOTW winner sets the gold standard in college football misery.
PREVIOUS WINNERS
1. Baylor Bears (lost to Texas State 42-31)
LAST WEEK: Over 300 votes! It was awesome to see so many people participating, and it just makes this that much more fun to see the involvement so thanks for that. Watching the votes come in, it looked like a dead heat between Clemson and Baylor, but the count showed the Bears with about 80 more votes. It makes sense- there’s a chance Clemson’s loss might not look so bad at the end of the year, but there’s zero chance we’ll find any mitigation in Baylor’s implosion to the Bulldogs, erm, Bobcats. A few people voted LSU and Texas Tech, and, surprisingly, Arkansas State even scraped up a couple of votes, although I think they were from bitter, schadenfreudy Tennessee fans.
Onto this week, there aren’t as many surefire bombs as last week’s crop, but there’s still some good ones for your consideration. A small note- out of respect for the nature of yesterday’s game, Virginia has been spared a nomination, but yeesh was that a heart-rending way to lose.
NOTE: For Ease of Counting, please use carats in your vote, like this: . Thank you, and thanks for participating!
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Mid-Atlantic weather, Cincinnati’s lead-holding, UCF/Boise somehow combining for 914 yards and 34 points, Nebraska’s offense, ACC putting their best primetime game on the CW, Kadarius Toney.
And now, the nominees for Week 2 are…
ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE (lost to Texas 34-24)
Did we just watch the two main Dynasties of the 2010s die in back-to-back weeks? The ten points difference isn’t really indicative of just how much Texas controlled Alabama in their own stadium, their first nonconference home loss since that Louisiana-Monroe game in 2007. Penalties, busted coverages, rushing impotence, and a spectacular seven minute drive to strangle the game all plagued Tuscaloosa. And now we have to listen to “Texas is back” being said unironically for at least the next week. SAVE_US.WYO
BUFFALO BULLS (lost to Fordham 40-37)
Oops, they did it again! For the second straight year, the Bulls walk into an FCS buzzsaw and come out hamburger meat. They did manage to patch things up for a bowl last year, but right now, things are looking pretty damn shaky up there in Western New York.
CALIFORNIA GOLDEN BEARS (lost to Auburn 14-10)
Everyone knew that Auburn going into Pac-12 after dark was going to be crazy and… well, they just out-Cal’d Cal. The Bears are famous for dragging teams down to their level and beating them when they had no right to, and Auburn flipped the script. Cal outgained Auburn, forced four turnovers, and held the Tigers to just twelve first downs. But three turnovers of their own and three missed field goals left a ton of points off the board (plus a ghastly officiating screw job that cost them four more), and opened the door for Auburn to steal the game with a late touchdown.
HOUSTON COUGARS (lost to Rice 43-41)
The Bayou Bucket isn’t exactly the most competitive rivalry in college football, with Houston winning three times as many games as their crosstown rivals. In fact, the Coogs had taken the last seven. But then Holgo’s squad fell flat on their faces as Rice raced out to a 28-0 lead in just the first twenty minutes,and while Houston did manage to claw back and force overtime… they couldn’t connect in the second for the two-point conversion, and lost to food.
NEVADA WOLFPACK (lost to Idaho 33-6)
Obligatory FCS loss. Yes… Nevada is the FBS team here, even though the score indicates the opposite. The Vandals outgained UNR by nearly 200 yards and forced three turnovers, not to mention scoring the final nineteen points of the game to turn this into an atrocity.
NORTHERN ILLINOIS HUSKIES (lost to Southern Illinois 14-11)
Obligatory FCS loss, and holy cow what a crash and burn after pulling the upset over Boston College last week. SIU leapt out to a 14-0 lead, and a late Husky comeback attempt came up short. NIU outgained the Salukis by nearly 150 yards, but three turnovers, including a game-ending pick with just thirty-three seconds left, sealed their fate.
TEXAS A&M AGGIES (lost to Miami-FL 48-33)
A 17-7 early lead turns into a small halftime deficit turns into a romp as the Aggies melt down over the final quarter and a half. But hey, at least they have an offense now, right?
TEXAS TECH RED RAIDERS (lost to Oregon 38-30)
Red Raiders entered the fourth quarter up 27-18 and on the verge of a major rebound win. And then promptly imploded as Oregon outscored them in the fourth quarter 20-3, including a pick-six that took TTU from decent get-a-FG-and-win position to needing a miracle touchdown and conversion to even tie. Just a brutal way to fall to 0-2 for the first time in thirty-three years.
WISCONSIN BADGERS (lost to Washington State 31-22)
Cougs nearly couged it, but for the second year a ranked Badgers team ran into the Cougs with a chip on their shoulder and expelled from the rankings. Note to Wazzu: THIS Is why nobody wants you. Its not the TV revenue, it’s the fact that Martin Stadium is a desolate deathpit where teams go to die.