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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Entire-Turnover7406 on 2023-09-11 14:21:57.
My mom has not been a good parent to me (17m) or my siblings (15f, 14m). She and our dad divorced 10 years ago and dad was our sole parent. We saw mom a handful of times in the last decade but that was not her being a parent, it was either for show or it was a thing of all of us being in the same place. Four years ago she got married to James and became a stepmom to James’ daughter who is about 12 now.
My siblings and I were invited to the wedding but we didn’t go. Mom showed up on our dad’s doorstep with them a month before the wedding so we could all meet and it was awkward and we weren’t interested.
James’ daughter was very excited and thought she was getting siblings. She tried to invite my sister to share a room at mom’s house and wanted us to have sleepovers. James was beaming at her while mom said nothing. Dad had to step in and tell mom she, James and his daughter needed to leave because “that poor little girl is going to have her heart broken if she expects a happy family with us and mom” and he didn’t want us to be forced to deal with a younger child being set up for heartbreak. He knew we were never going to spend any time with her since he knew we wouldn’t be spending time with our mom either.
James’ daughter used to seek my younger brother out at school before he started high school this year. She really did believe we would be her siblings and that we’d all be one family. Dad tried to get mom to put a stop to it but she didn’t want to do anything and James said he didn’t see the reason why we’d deny her siblings when she’s innocent.
Yesterday I was getting some groceries for home when James’ daughter approached me and asked why she wasn’t invited to my birthday party the weekend before. She started to cry and said she heard about it from grandma and grandpa (mom’s parents) and they were invited and my cousins were invited and she wasn’t. She said she would have wanted to come and was bringing up the whole sibling thing again. James was behind her and I told him that he needed to explain things to his daughter instead of letting her approach me and my siblings in public.
He was like she has a right to ask the important questions and asked why it was such a big deal. We were being little jerks after all. It pissed me off and I started to yell at him about how he knew the kind of woman he was marrying and yet they sold his kid on the idea that she was getting siblings. I told him if that was his goal for his kid then he needed to marry someone who wasn’t a shitty mom and he needed to help her with the fact we would never be family, let alone siblings. James called me a little turd for saying all that in front of his daughter and in public.
AITA?