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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Lifeinstylez on 2023-09-11 14:48:40.
I (F28) has been seeing my bf(M30) for slighty over a year now. He has two kids (F9, M7) from his past relationship and has them EOWE.
We don’t live together. He shares an apartment with his brother and I live alone in the apartment I own. I don’t like people in my space and kids even less so. My home is my sanctuary.
Recently my bf asked if he could move in with me. He is normally a chill guy and I was sort of considering it. But I decided against it since he is a dad and wherever his home is, his kids would have a right to it too. I don’t want kids messing up my home.
I told him no. But he started begging saying how his brother wants to move his gf in, they want him out and he cannot afford an apartment by himself. He went ahead saying since I own my apartment he would be able to save up on rent as well.
I stood stern on my decision and told him while I understood his situation, I don’t want to open my home to kids.
He tried saying how its just 4-6 days a month and he will make sure they behave.
I refused to relent and now he is calling me AH cause of whom he will lose custody. (If he can’t find a good home his ex will sue him. )
AITA for not letting my bf move in cause I don’t want kids in my space and may cause him to lose custody?
For everyone calling me out on having relationship with a man with children :
Its not a serious relationship. Atleast I never considered it to be. He stays over 2- 3 nights a week at most. We have never talked about commitment, longterm or moving in before. I had at the beginning yold him I dont want anything serious and he has agreed to keep it casual.
I am not childfree. I do hang out with kids. I have nieces and nephews I babysit at their home or take out for fun.
I haven’t met bf’s kids cause he said we weren’t serious and he didn’t want to bring random people into kids life. I accepted, cause we aren’t serious. This asking to move in was out of the blue.
I dont want kids in my apartment cause kids tend to be destructive and make a lot of noise. I have seen what his kids have done to the apartment he shares with his brother. They have legit broken a mac laptop of his. If they were teens or better behaved I might have considered more.