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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Old_Ad_3822 on 2023-09-11 13:01:47.
My boyfriend (50) and myself (39) live together, have been together for a year and a half. I have one 4 year old daughter, he has three kids that are here every other week, ages 7, 10, and 14. The 7 year old and 10 year old have behavioral issues, and adhd. They are quite a handful for me, whos adjusting to life with 4 kids when they’re over. And I’ve had trouble bonding with them. I’ve caught the 10 year old stealing from me a few times, and the 8 year old is super hyperactive and needs consistent attention and hes super loud.
Boyfriend just told me he’s leaving on a 10 day work trip, and 5 of these days his kids will be here. Hes leaving this coming week. He hadn’t asked if this was okay with me, he just told me this is what’s happening. When i asked why I’m the last person to know, when I should be the first because I’ll be watching his kids, he tells me referring to them as HIS and not OURS is toxic…
He volunteered to be one of the guys that goes for this work trip, hes a general labourer. I’m dreading these 5 days watching all 4 kids. It’s an absolute madhouse and I’m still trying to adjust to this new life with 4 kids as we haven’t lived together long.
AITA for wanting his kids to stay at their mothers for those 5 days? Or for him to come home on the week they come?