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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Theinsulated on 2023-09-11 05:09:49.
A little background… cooking has always been a big part of my life. Growing up I spent most Sundays with my mother and/or grandmother in the kitchen cooking a big meal for the whole family.
When I met my wife we were young and she thought my love for cooking was a little weird for a guy, but she quickly grew to enjoy the benefits. At the time she would tease me for watching cooking shows but eventually they grew on her as well. Now if we are watching TV together, we are watching a cooking show. She especially likes the competitive ones, shows like Hell’s Kitchen, Masterchef, Next Level Chef, Chopped - stuff like that. This feels like rambling but it’s all important context I think.
Here’s where we get to if I am being an asshole or not. I do basically all the actual cooking in the house. If something is made from scratch it’s made by me. What was once gratitude and appreciation from my wife has slowly become judgement and ridicule. Every time I cook I basically get a rundown of everything wrong with the dish. Something is under/over seasoned or under/over cooked. Sometimes she uses words like ‘pedestrian’ and I know she’s just joking because we don’t use words like those although they are common from cooking show judges. Well last week I made meatloaf and when she saw it, she looked disappointed and said ‘it looks like dogshit my dear’ which is again like a play on something you’d hear Gordon Ramsay say but then she didn’t eat it and so I think she was actually thinking it. I’ll be honest it kind of hurt my feelings.
This last week I haven’t cooked. We’ve just been eating out or leftovers. Today I cooked but only a single portion for myself. My wife assumed I was cooking for her and she was upset when I had only enough to make a plate for myself. I didn’t tell her I wasn’t cooking for her so she basically sat down for dinner and had nothing so she had to go out to get food. We haven’t really talked all night and I can tell she’s annoyed with me. I’m starting to feel guilty myself. What do you think?