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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Regular-Designer2945 on 2023-09-11 02:45:45.
I love my wife very much, however she has one massive problem. She loves to top people and has no problem lying to do it. And they are ridiculous lies.
He sister was over with our nephews and I mentioned that the kids were getting so tall. My wife immediately pops in to say that it is because her grandfather was 6’7" and that our son is already 6’4". I’m 6’1" the kid is a little taller than me. Maybe 1/4". So I pipe up and say that he is actually 6’10.
A friend of ours just had emergency surgery for her son because of testicular torsion. One of his balls was twisted up. My wife talks about how we went through the same thing. No our son has an undescended testical and had routine surgery to bring it down. So I added that our son was actually born with three testicles and it was the extra one that was twisted.
Our daughter did very well in her final year of high school but she was not I repeat not valedictorian. But my wife tells people that she was. So I add that she did so well that the school actually made her valedictorian and salutorian.
My wife has finally figured out that if she tells these dumb lies around me I will make up even stupider lies. If I’m going to look dumb for not saying anything when she lies I may as well make the lies as stupid as possible.
She has stopped around me but she still does it. She called me an asshole for adding on to her harmless white lies.