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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Inside_Photograph_35 on 2023-09-10 22:28:58.
Me (30f) and my husband (32m) have three kids together. Two girls and a boy. Our youngest is the boy, he’s just over a year old. My husbands brother, we’ll call him Uncle G, is married with four girls 2-7yo. They have always wanted a boy and continue having babies in hopes they’ll have a boy, so far no luck.
Ever since having our youngest son Uncle G has antagonized him every time we’ve seen him which is roughly once a month since Baby J was about two months old. He’ll do things like jump out from behind a corner and scream loudly in his face, lock eyes with him in a staring contest and then yell loudly to scare him or throw him up in the air which he hates. I can only assume his intention is to make him cry because that is always the outcome. We never leave a get together with Uncle G without him having made Baby J cry at least once.
Every time I see him do it I’ll intervene, take Baby J away, and make a comment ranging from mild to moderate shaming. Something like ‘Can you stop please?’, ‘You’re the only person he cries around.’ Or ‘Gee. I don’t think he likes that’. We also limit our time around their family for this and other reasons.
The last time Uncle G scared him so bad that every time Baby J looked at him for the rest of the evening he broke down in tears. Uncle G’s reasoning was ‘Life is tough. I’m teaching him he needs to be tough. That’ll teach him to have a stare down with me.’
I’m not sure what to do at this point. I already make comments when it happens and it hasn’t changed his behavior. I asked my husband to say something and he just shrugs and says the natural consequence for Uncle G is that Baby J just won’t like him. Is that enough? AITA for calling him out on it and expecting my husband should say something or not?