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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/upstanderally on 2023-09-10 20:18:03.
My wife (37f) did our weekly grocery run with our daughter and I (38m) stayed home with our youngest. It was a hot day and I called them around the time we make lunch to check in and see if she wanted me to put food on for our daughter. She told me they had just finished up since the store was really busy and not to put food on for her because they were going to meet up with their friends and go to the lake.
So am I the asshole for then saying “well can you bring the groceries home first”?
She became so angry and said she was offended and " of course I am going to bring them home" and she told me not to talk to her like that.
She didn’t say that she was coming home so why is it a problem that I asked , I think she is over reacting and I don’t like how she talks to me about it. She gets very angry and I think it’s disrespectful.
Later she apologized for her reaction and said she was very frustrated and upset at that question, because she has been asking me not to speak to her like that repeatedly.
She then explained that it should be assumed that she eased coming home first since she just bought hundreds of dollars of groceries and needs her swim clothes, and that asking her makes it seem like she doesn’t have any common sense. Which is what she is upset about.
I think her top temper is the problem but she says it’s the condescending way I talk to her that’s the issue.
So AITA or is it her?