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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/scoopspryzen on 2023-09-10 13:07:58.
I’ve got an older brother (24) with Aspergers and he’s very high functioning albeit with his quirks and stuff.
Recently I’ve moved back home during the stay at home orders to look after my parents. My brother still lives with them. I find out he’s been trying to date in recent months and confessed it’s been pretty unsuccessful for him. He even got to go on a first date but his date literally got up and left after about a half hour.
I know exactly the reason why and it’s not flattering. For one thing my parents coddled him since he was a kid because he was on the spectrum and was the only boy in our family. My mom in particular always told him he was smarter and more advanced than everyone else who’s neurotypical. This has led to his belief today that he genuinely is smarter than everyone else, especially women who he thinks are inherently irrational, illogical people.
So I know how he interacts with women like me or his other sisters. He tends to say very hurtful things first and when we get upset, he will then say things like “you are being irrational/hysterical/illogical, I’m just being honest and you can’t accept it.” This is like his catch phrase over the years and drives us absolutely INSANE.
Anyways when he asked me I basically said, “listen the truth is your way of talking to women can come across as extremely demeaning and borderline sexist.” I told him he acts like he can read every woman perfectly when he’s pretty much always wrong. This struck the wrong nerve with him and he later complained to my parents that I attacked him over things he can’t control.
Now I’m in hot water for “ruining his confidence” and I feel both bad and kinda relieved at the same time. This was the first time in my life I told him how annoying his behavior is because growing up our mom always blamed us whenever he got upset. But maybe I was too harsh? AITA for telling him what I