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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Top_Manner6284 on 2023-09-09 19:59:45.
A little background information is required before I begin. My mom (52) and I (20F) have never had a close relationship. This didn’t honestly bother me because I was close to my dad who was basically my best friend. However, my dad passed away 4 years ago. I was depressed and my mom wrapped herself in her work and I was left to basically raise my 5 younger siblings. Although I love them, it was never good for my mental health and I was also stressing over my schooling and college applications. I ended up getting into my dream college but my first year, I went to a regional campus so I could be close to my siblings which was actually my mom’s idea. My second year I moved to the main campus which was two hours away. I never realized how weighed down I was by my family. My depression got so much better and I was happy and made new friends. During my senior year of hs however, my mom decided she wanted to start dating again. I wasn’t very happy as I didn’t want anyone stepping in and trying to act like my dad. I had already had one. Last year though, my mom met someone and got engaged. Her fiancé is nice and she is happy which I am glad but some of my siblings and I are still struggling with my dad’s death and it’s hard. The past month she has been discussing the wedding more and more with me which is a bit of a sensitive issue with me which I don’t think she understands. Last week she asked if I could stay the week of her honeymoon to watch my siblings. I didn’t give her an answer because I really don’t want to but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. After talking with one of my brothers and my SIL, they told me that I really isn’t my job to watch them and I need to focus on me as I have been much happier when I am not with them which I know sounds horrible. I realized they are right and decided to tell my mom I couldn’t babysit. The next time she called me, I told I was busy that week and would be leaving to go back to school right after the wedding so I couldn’t babysit. I hoped she would drop it but instead she kept asking me why and I said I had tickets to my college’s football game which was not a lie. She said that was stupid and she thought I would stay especially since I would be on break. I realized that she had looked up my school schedule and planned her honeymoon on my fall break so I would be home. I wasn’t planning on going home because I have a job and planned on working that week. After freezing me out for the first week expecting me to cave which would not have been the first time, she has been calling me nonstop which I have been ignoring. I now feel bad and I don’t know if I am wrong. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. My brother and SIL have considered going no contact with her because she just causes stress and chaos for them. I have considered the same. I moved out over the summer and it was the decision I have ever made. Pls help. ( I tried to make it short but there is so much going on and this isn’t even half of it lol)