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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Wealth4052 on 2023-09-09 18:07:05.
Some context: My (23M) family aren’t very well off but me and my two sisters “Sarah” (26F) and “Debbie” (21F) had a good childhood. We were all a little surprised when Debbie fell pregnant at 20 and decided to keep it.
Debbie was in her freshman year at uni when out of the blue she announced that she was pregnant. Our whole family told her to abort, including her boyfriend at the time. But for some reason she was firmly convinced to keep it (she is atheist and pro choice)**. We begrudgingly respected her right to decide when our questions fell on deaf ears.
Afterwards, she dropped out of uni and moved back in with our parents. She demanded her boyfriend, who was still in uni, provide for her. Our older sister gently tried to tell her to get a part time job but Debbie said her condition made that impossible and “you should try being pregnant and prove how easy it is”.
The tension finally broke when I got into an argument with Debbie. During a family dinner, our parents asked about Sarah’s career as a teacher and I spoke briefly about my internship. Debbie got upset and said that our parents were “assholes” for bringing up our “conventionally successful” careers knowing her condition. Sarah told her to be grateful to our parents for supporting her through this time. Debbie continued on about how we all looked down at her and treated her poorly. I told her that none of us forced us to give up her great life from before and she should’ve aborted. I also called her selfish and inconsiderate for not thinking about the strain on our parents and her future child.
Debbie stormed off crying. My parents and Sarah think I treated her too harshly and shouldn’t have said what I did. I understand that she is very pregnant and emotional at this time but I was getting really fed up with her complaining about the people who gave up endless time and effort to support her through her obviously wrong decision. AITA?
(Edit: “assholes” and “conventionally successful” was her wording, not mine. We were raised to respect our elders and that’s always been a big rule in our household. Also, we are not well off. Sarah contributes part of her salary every month and I will too once I find a job. But our parents are quite literally paying out of their retirement funds for Debbie and her future child)
(**Edit: I added her moral and religious beliefs on abortion so that people would not ask “what if she is religiously against abortion?” “what if she thinks a life starts at inception?”, ie context reasons. I am also not against abortion and I respect women’s rights to choose whether to have an abortion. I think we should be allowed to comment on these choices but ultimately I can see why people disagree and I welcome that)
(***Edit: Please do not make cruel, humiliating or religiously motivated attacks on her. I am very upset with her recent behavior and I fundamentally do not understand her decision, but she is still my sister)